Photos and T-shirt slogans by G.
Jesus Fucking Christ
Are you sick of being forced by the internet to reminisce on ‘throwback Thursday’ or ‘flashback Friday’? If so, this post is for you. I’ve created a line of shirts for #FakeT-ShirtFriday! A lot of these have ‘naughty’ words, so if that sort of thing offends you – tough shit! It’s 2015, for fuck’s sake!
If You See Something, Like Something
I’m with fuck face —->
Less Radio More Head
I fucked your boyfriend
I fucked your girlfriend
Emoji Hand Lady!
Just had sex
And after the jump, see a few more…
Read more of this article »
Photos and words by Geoffrey Dicker.
To thine own selfie be true.
Here are 15 times quotes from “I Won The Internet!” by Geoffrey Dicker made your life better. Remember, sharing is caring!
Do you ever find that people that post a lot of spiritual quotes online rarely practice what they preach?
I really need to stop picturing people having 3-somes when I speak in front of crowds.
I just wanna be retweeted by you
In addition to being a fan, we are also a customer. #neverforget
I’m not interested in not interesting
My tweet got promoted. It’s now a Vice President.
Please don’t tell me how much you love me. Show me in gift cards.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Can you imagine the status updates if it had been?!
Sometimes I buy tickets for sold out shows just so hipsters can’t go.
Read more of this article »
Artwork by Troy Gua.
“I Won The Internet! Daily Wit, Wisdom and Selfies, According to G” by Geoffrey Dicker. Out now!!!
“Does this status update make me look fat?”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
A Hilarious New Book “I WON THE INTERNET! – DAILY WIT, WISDOM AND SELFIES, ACCORDING TO G.” To Be Released In September 2014
New York, NY (September 10, 2014) – Poet and blogger Geoffrey Dicker announces his third book, “I WON THE INTERNET! – DAILY WIT, WISDOM AND SELFIES, ACCORDING TO G,” which will be available to purchase through Amazon on September 20, 2014. The book chronicles some of the encounters of a “modern day Zelig” who has met a celebrity born on each day of the year (including Oprah Winfrey, Bono, Amy Winehouse, Adele, Morrissey, James Franco, Lady Gaga, Joan Rivers, Bryan Cranston, Jane Fonda and Ringo Starr) and presents his witty and uncensored one-liners and words of wisdom disguised as Status Updates and Tweets. Dicker encourages the reader to use this book as a guide to put them at the forefront of pop culture. It’s literally three books in one!
The book contains two sections of thoughtful and hilarious ideas for people to ponder and share online to make them the most popular person in their social media newsfeed. The third section is dedicated to “Selfies” which showcase a small portion of Dicker’s impressive celebrity autograph and selfie photo collection. Using this book as a daily calendar, readers get the chance to view these superstars and legends in the making in an entirely different light. The book features 365 exclusive color photographs of some of the biggest names in entertainment, music and art, and features cover art by pop artist Troy Gua.
“As a consumer of social media, I got sick of seeing people posting the same ideas and being afraid to voice their opinion as it might not be politically correct, so I’ve written this book to help people find new things to complain and laugh about. This book is my response to some of the good and not so good things I’ve experienced on line as well as some satire on social (and anti-social) media and the current state of the world. Plus, there are 365 exclusive color photos of celebrities!” Dicker said.
For celebrity enthusiasts, pop culture critics and aspiring social media superstars, this book is a must read. Featuring 365 exclusive color photos, the book is available in September 2014 from Amazon. Go viral!
About the Author
Geoffrey Dicker is a poet, lyricist and blogger. In its five year existence, his popular art and music blog According2g.com has posted over 6,500 original pictures, videos and reports of his adventures from celebrity encounters to attending art openings and reports of rock and roll concerts. He is the author of “Sketches of Verbal Alchemy,” a controversial collection of “abstract poetry,” maxims and aphorisms designed to make the reader think of new possibilities to age old problems. His second book “Unfinished Lyrics,” is an anthology of song lyrics he’s written inspiring three full length albums of his words that have been recorded by pop singer Jim Emmons (“In the Absence of Red,” “Throwing Stars” and “So Strange”). “I Won the Internet!” is his third book. He has taken more than 1,500 selfies with famous people and has amassed in excess of 25,000 autographs in his personal collection. He’s worked in the entertainment industry for over 20 years, both behind the scenes and in front of the camera. In his spare time he designs T-shirts, writes witty banter and creates abstract paintings. Geoffrey Dicker currently resides in New York City.
Back Cover of “I Won The Internet”
Photo or interview requests, contact
Kim Kardashian. G Cameo in the top right corner.
In case you needed more proof that I am a modern day Zelig, who is always at the right place at the right time, here’s another one for ya! Yesterday I was out and about in SoHo with a friend when all of a sudden, we saw a TON of paparazzi on the street about to strike. As I am no stranger to these types of scenes, we decided to see who it was. It turned out to be Kim Kardashian. What a let down!!!! I thought it was going to be someone really good. You can see the look of disappointment in my face in these paparazzi shots that ended up on the interweb. Pretty funny.
Kim Kardashian. G looks on in horror on the right
It’s no secret that I think Kim Kardashian has absolutely ZERO talent and should not be famous AT ALL, let alone be the subject of international headlines every day, but I will say this – being subjected to that much paparazzi is almost as vile as her being famous enough to warrant that much. There is no doubt in my mind that these kinds of scum of the earth (and those that enable this behavior by reading gossip sites and supporting these people are equally as guilty) will be responsible for someone’s death just for a picture. These paparazzi were SCREAMING at passersby on the street to move out of the way with profanity and when Kim K. walked out of the building, it felt unsafe because there was so much chaos going on, a wise criminal could easily slip in and slip out after causing some sort of damage.
It’s a matter of time. You can quote me on that.
Photos by G.
World Trade Center Version 2.0
Let’s face it, when there’s a tragedy, the city it happened in commemorates it with a museum. It’s tasteless, but it’s just a fact of life. So with that thinking, it was just a matter of time before New York built a 9/11 Museum. Curiosity got the better of me and a friend so we visited the museum on Memorial Day. What I will say is that the museum is high-tech and well laid out. There are hundreds of artifacts from the worst day in modern history on display. From horrifying photos of people jumping off the building to their death to miscellaneous items of clothing that were charred and rescued from the building collapses, even the blackest heart will probably shed a tear or two. It’s sort of strange to think that for every closeup photo you see from “ground zero,” that represents a person who whipped out a camera to capture a tragic moment instead of helping, but as we all know this is the day that changed everything!
I wasn’t living in New York on 9/11/01, and knowing what I know now from living here, reliving the events of this day seem more horrific than ever. Days like 9/11 remind you of the awesomeness of New York and how when it sucks here, it sucks more than you can even imagine. New Yorkers get a bad rap as being rude and blunt, but when tragedy strikes, seeing the community come together gives you a kernel of hope for humanity. To think of all the courageous people that risked their own lives to try and save others, the amount of people that didn’t live to tell the tale and the people that have suffered effects of the aftermath is almost too much to take. The museum will definitely give you a new appreciation for the people that were at the Trade Towers when tragedy struck and it will take your mind on a trip when you think of how many thousands of lives were permanently affected and how many of those stories were never told.
The 9/11 Museum sure does its best to take your wounds of that day, rip them right open again and throw a bunch of salt in it. From the second you’ve paid your $25 entrance fee, you have to go through airport security and it makes one wish they had a “before 9/11 airport security monitor” as well as an “after 9/11 airport security monitor” just to show the youth of what the world was like before the government decided to scare us all into submission. To think of all the hassle the world goes through to get onto an airplane now and how many times “the bad guys” have still managed to sneak weapons onto planes makes you think “Let’s have less security. We’ll take the risk!” But we don’t have a choice, do we? There’s also a ton of “America, Fuck Yeah!” propaganda peppered throughout the museum and NOT ONCE is there even the slightest mention that 9/11 “could possibly have been” an inside job. I’m not here to try and convince anyone of anything – but there is a ton of research out there that if even one out of every one hundred facts are true, it’s enough to make you question everything! If you are not questioning things, you are sheep and I ask that you please wake up OR move the hell out of my way!
The most tasteless part of the museum, of course, is the gift shop and here are 11 items you DON’T need from the 9/11 Museum gift shop.
The Dogs of 9/11
1. A Tribute to the Dogs of 9/11. There are also doggie costumes (isn’t that animal abuse?) for sale.
9/11 Coffee Mugs
2. 9/11 Coffee mugs. I don’t know about you, but I do not need to be reminded of death when I am trying to wake up in the morning.
9/11 Charm Bracelets.
3. Charm Bracelets. No comment needed.
4. Earrings. The commemorative trees at the bottom sort of make sense, but 9/11 earrings?!
9/11 iPhone covers
5. 9/11 iPhone cases. Doesn’t the cover on the right look like a burnt flag to you? Yikes.
New York Skyline Scarf and plate
6. The scarf and plate make perfect sense to be sold in the million “I Love New York” tchotchke shops throughout the city, but in a 9/11 memorial museum, it’s very tacky.
9/11 Stuffed Animal
7. 9/11 Search and Rescue stuffed animals. File this one under “creepy toys for kids.”
World Trade Center Scarves!
8. 9/11 Handbags and Scarves. Upscale and yet, TASTELESS!!!
9. 9/11 Totebags. On your daily travels these bags will remind you and everyone you run across with one of the most horrific days in recent memory. Super size it!
American Flag Coasters.
10. American Flag Coasters. America… FUCK YEAH!
9/11 Key-chains, Lanyards
11. Last and certainly not least – 9/11 Keychains and Lanyards.
Also for sale are coffee table books filled with horrifying photos of the 9/11 events, T-shirts galore and DVDs. Many of these other items literally baffle me that people would want them, but during our visit to the museum, people were taking selfies in front of building wreckage, so I guess we can go out on a limb and say that the world has officially been ruined and nothing is sacred anymore.
911 Gift Shop (Partial View)
Apparently the America cheese plate has already been discontinued. Maybe there is hope for humanity?
Exit through the gift shop.