Clash of the Titans – The G Review

Posted by The G on April 3, 2010 under G Reviews | 3 Comments to Read

Photo by G.

Clash of the Titans. Save your money.

First off, I should warn you that this post might contain spoilers.  However, nothing I say could spoil Clash of the Titans as much as seeing it with your own eyes.  This 2010 remake of my beloved childhood movie had put me off from seeing the trailers several months ago, but being the optimistic G that I am, I decided to come to my own conclusions by seeing the flick.  This goes to show once again that there’s some merit in following your gut instinct.  I don’t even know where to begin.

Should I start with the fact that the studio is committing daylight robbery by charging people extra to see this film in 3-D since it wasn’t shot that way and the 3-D “enhancements” add nothing to the film whatsoever? Should I start with the fact that while Sam Worthington is definitely babe-a-licious, his accent in the film varies from a British accent to that of his Australian descent?  He has the personality of a wet mop in Clash of the Titans, definitely not that of a demi-god.  Also, his haircut is more suited to make him a marine instead of a character out of Greek Mythology.  Maybe I should start with the fact that 1981 Clash heroes Bubo (the mechanical owl) makes an appearance for less than 5 seconds and is never seen from again, Ammon (originally played by Burgess Meredith) is absent from this version, Pegasus is black and not white (no, this isn’t a race thing!), Calibos is not really the “lord of the marsh” but instead just a gnarled version of the King of Argos (who dies in the opening sequence in the original) and there are two new characters:  the Goddess Io, who helps Perseus along the way and some creature that is so unnecessary that Perseus’ gang even ask what the hell he is.  Also, Perseus does not decide to slay the Kracken for his beloved Andromeda (whom he discards at the end of the film), but rather because he seemingly has nothing better to do.  There’s also a huge preachy message that men are more powerful than gods that is repeated so many times, I felt like I was watching a propaganda film, even though I am not entirely against that notion.  It’s just that I don’t need to be spoon-fed “the message” of the movie.  I think I am capable of figuring it out on my own.  Clearly that is not the case nationwide.

While the special effects are dramatically improved from the 1981 version, I sat through the film reaffirming to myself that Ray Harryhausen’s special effects might look dated by todays standards, but it is so much easier to get swept away in the fantasy world he created, than this over-the-top production value and no content newer version.  Isn’t the point of  going to the cinema supposed to be�to forget about your troubles for a few hours instead of making you dwell on the fact that the Corporatocracy has infiltrated one of our last beloved institutions – the movies?  The 2010 remake is the epitome of studios not willing to take risks and buy new ideas and instead, rehash stories they already own the rights for.  Even the trailers before the film started were for another remake of Robin Hood and Nightmare on Elm Street.  As much as I dislike being a movie curmudgeon, I don’t see how it’s possible to feel satisfied after seeing movies like this.  On a scale of A to G, Clash of the Titans 2010 gets a C-.  If you want to escape into the fantasy world of Greek Mythology, I suggest reading Edith Hamilton’s brilliant Mythology or check out the original 1981 film with Harry Hamlin, Ursula Andress, Maggie Smith and Laurence Olivier.  Don’t waste your time on this drivel.

If you saw it, tell us what you thought.  The last time I checked, this was still a free world that is allowed to have varying opinions, though I am told that will be expiring soon.

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