Photo by G.
I have good and bad news about Prince. The good news – he appears to have denounced his previous statement that the internet is dead (even though he’s used a certain website to be his town crier for the last few years) and has created (or one of his purple peeps has created) a Twitter account by the name of @3rdEyeGirl. This brings us to the second piece of good news – 3rdEyeGirl has posted Youtube (a website Prince formerly sued for posting his videos) videos of a live rehearsal of his classic song”Bambi” (a song whose lyrics are about lesbianism and are very un-Jehovah like, according2g), a previously unreleased “Xtended” version of the 2010 song “Laydown,” whose lyrics feature the most cringeworthy phrase ever uttered in a Prince song (“purple yoda”), a new remix of the recent throwaway song “Rock and Roll Love Affair” and a brand new throwaway song called “Same Page Different Book.”
And now the bad news – all of the new songs he’s laid on us (not just these but all the songs over the past few years) are totally boring and uninspired. It’s official, his religion has rotted his creativity. He can certainly still cut the rug live, but his recent music is not the Prince who made us all fall in love with him 30 years ago. It’s sad to see him sitting on vault classics and instead releasing music that is totally beneath his greatness. It’s also sad that he thinks these songs are worthy of being released when he has hours and hours of funk that will kill you locked away in a safe. He used to make music where you couldn’t even define the sound because it sounded like nothing you’d ever heard before but now, he just makes mediocre funk throwaways. Prince, if you are out there, and you probably are because I’ve posted an unreleased photo and Jehovah-forbid that someone uses his image without his consent – even though he’s one of the richest musicians in the world and even though I took this photo fair and square, his purple lawyers will probably try and make me take down the image. Well good, because you and I need to have a serious talk.
On a side note, we shouldn’t expect the 3rdEyeGirl Twitter account to last long, but you can follow me on @according2g. I’m not going anywhere.