Photo by G. “I Won The Internet!” art by Troy Gua.
Hello! Remember me? Since we last spoke, I released my third book, “I Won The Internet!” which is available now on sites like Amazon.com. I took a break after the release of the book to do some promotion and also to get my nervous system back. For 5 years, I’ve been going out pretty much 7 nights a week in search of letting you all know the best art and music you should focus your energies on. To this day, there is not another website on the internet that has ever done the things I have done – experiencing, photographing and writing about all the content that appears on their site. It’s really sad to me that the world isn’t any the wiser as they continue to read sites written by people who rip off and re purpose content off the web and try pass it off as their own, but that is not my problem – it’s yours for supporting it! Readers have kindly been nudging me to return to this site for a few months and the love has been overwhelming. I thank you kindly for your love and support. You shouldn’t consider this my full return to According2g.com, but I will try pop in from time to time and let you know what’s up. You can also follow me on Instagram or Twitter @according2g for updates.
What better way to kick things off than with one of my favorite love-to-hate subjects – Madonna. I’ve been a fan of her since the beginning of her career and to her death, I will probably always be interested in what she’s up to. What I despise about her is that she has never lived a “practice what you preach existence,” and pretty much anyone that has been around her that has not signed a non-disclosure agreement rarely has a nice thing to say about her. It’s a shame since she is always singing about love and peace, but it fascinates me that people (myself included) continue to be captivated by someone whose only care for you is how she can carefully take your money. If you think that sentence is egregious in any way, you are in serious denial and you need help.
Regardless, I go into all of her albums with an open mind, because I will not lie, when her music ‘does it’ for me, it makes my world a happier place and I will always be grateful for that, and this new album has those moments from time to time, although fleeting. Her 13th studio album “Rebel Heart” has been a disaster since before the album even had a title. In December 2014, before the record even had a release date or a title, 13 songs in perfect quality, but in demo form, leaked to the internet in full. To try and do some damage control, Madonna oh so kindly, finished up 6 tracks and let people who pre-ordered the album have those songs instantly. She called it her Christmas present to fans. Insulting since her real fans (the people still interested in supporting her career) downloaded the songs for free days before (deny it all you want, but you and I both know that is the truth – not just for her but for any veteran act), but I digress…. In the interim, she announced the full album would be 19 songs long (except for a 26 song deluxe edition) and would be released in March of 2015. Before the end of 2014, an additional 19 songs leaked in full, so the grand total of songs that were “out there for free” at this point was 32. Madonna’s PR team went on a manhunt to find the person that hacked into her computer and released these songs into the wild and a person was captured. Leaks over, right? Not! A few days later, the finished version of the deluxe edition (25 songs) leaked onto the internet in perfect quality. And before the official release of the album, an additional few songs leaked, bringing the grand total number of tracks (including multiple different versions of certain tracks) to over 50! Makes you wonder – was the leak a publicity stunt? Is she having trouble with her mega-deal and she wants out? Rarely any information “officially released” these days is the truth, and so many of her fans are sheep that actually believe she’s a kind hearted person, so we may never know the truth.
It’s a good time to be a fan because there is certainly a lot of material to choose from and some of it is her best work in over a decade. Whoever sequenced the album and chose certain producers did a really crappy job as many of the demos were great and subsequently ruined by over (or under) production. Also many great songs were scrapped from the official release in favor of much worse songs. She’s been pulling the ageism card in interviews to try and gain sympathy and attention for the album, and to some extent she is right – the world caters to the youth and that sucks – but awesomeness always rises to the top. Frankly I think, Madonna looks amazing “for her age” (since she went there). Her plastic surgery doesn’t look as scary as it used to and she works out so much, she has a really great body. I am not really sure if I enjoy seeing her put her tits and pussy on display anymore, but sex sells and that’s always been part of the winning formula for Madonna, so why stop now?
After the jump, see my brief track by track review, as I try and make some sense out of this mess.